Why is it that Christmas comes to the stores earlier every year. Last year it was before Halloween. This year there is already stuff up! Can we get through one holiday at a time? Wal-Mart actually had there Christmas aisles up before they had any Halloween stuff out. I am dreading Christmas this year. All my childhood, Christmas was my least favorite holiday. It seems that for one reason or another, I was always disappointed. Then the last five years or so its actually been pretty good. Maybe I let go of my expectations or whatever, but I've actually enjoyed it. It has also been nice to do things our own way and to try to start our own family traditions. This year will be really hard though without Mom. Especially because I'll be remembering last year, when she was with us. I know, I know, at least I had last year. But it still won't be the same. We (the Murrays) will be spending Christmas out here in Washington because I'll be too far along to be able to travel. All the rest of the family, including Matt, will be spending Christmas together, presumably in Michigan. We asked Dad to come out so we wouldn't have to spend it alone, but he won't. And now, Sara wants to do away with gifts for each other. She wants to do a secret Santa with a limit of $20. That would be between her, me, Tim, Matt, Ricardo (who is not even officially a part of the family), Sue, Dan, BLake and Vonne. I HATE that idea. We have such a small family as it is. I could understand if we had a large family, but we don't. I usually gift in couples (Dan and Sue get a joint gift, Blake and Vonne, etc.) so I basically only have 5 gifts to do. Its not much. Besides, I usually make the gifts. And I already have this years done. Sara doesn't think that's fair if I make and she buys. I just don't understand why its such a big deal. Somebody tried to start that last year (probably Sara) and it got kiboshed by Mom. She hated that idea too. I think it sucks!
On to other news. . .
Had a garage sale on Saturday and made out awesome! $140 and it wasn't pay fay weekend. I sold my table and chairs and the old sofa set. Now I actually have room to put my stuff from Mom when I get it from Moose's.
Just as the yard sale was ending, TJ fell off the neighbor's 4-wheeler. Kennedy was driving and when she took off, he wasn't holding on good enough. He had a goose egg the size of a golf ball on the back of his head so I rushed him straight to the ER where they didn't do a thing for him. They said "oh he has a minor concussion. You can go home now." Gotta love the military's version of health care. Top notch.
Tim leaves for Yakima on Saturday for 2 weeks or training. That will suck.
I haven't had a great week. A lot of stuff about Mom has really been hitting me hard this week for some reason. I've found myself in tears just about everyday. (maybe its due partly to pregnancy hormones) I know its okay to have bad days (weeks?) and its okay to still cry. But nobody really wants to talk about it. Matt is gone and wouldn't talk anyways. I have tried to call Sara when it gets really bad since she's about the only one who should completely understand, but she won't talk. She always says she has to go and will call right back, which ends up being 6 hours later.
And so here is my journal of feeling sorry for myself lately. Oh well. Take it or leave it, I guess.
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