2016 Olympics, here we come!

Kennedy had a break through in gymnastics today, her coach said. She is almost able to do a back bridge kick over all by herself, the first in her class. She also can do a pullover and a back hip circle on the bars by herself. Her coach is leaving to go to college in a couple of weeks and Kennedy will be moving up to the next level - Tumbleweeds. She will be one of the 2 youngest in that class. Normally they are at least 6, but usually 7. She will be able to compete with in the gym in about 6 months. But she has to be 7 before she can do any real competitions. She amazes me. I don't think I could ever do these things. I am glad that she likes it so much and that we don't have to push her into it. She has no fear about doing anything, which is good. (Scary too sometimes.) Hey, maybe she'll keep up with it, maybe not, but at least she's having fun right now.

We have also ended our heat wave earlier this week. We are having temps in the low 70s, high 60s. So much nicer than before. Sorry to those of you in Michigan.

Tim on his reduction board. They did not find any reason whatsoever to take his rank. They aknowledged that he still has a lot to learn, but that he's deserving of having his rank. So they are transferring him with rank intact. Unfortunately, we don't get any choice in that. They won't let us transfer off post. They kept him in the same brigade, but moved him to a fdifferent company. He will also be working under somebody this time, giving him the opportunity to get on the job training. Don't know if they are still trying to kick him out of not yet. We kind of hope so. We are both ready to be done with it.

My Kids and Music

So thanks to me loving brother and sister's influence, Kennedy and TJ have a rather eclectic taste in music. I tend to supply them with classical music, children's Christian music, or even a little Metallica occasionally. Kennedy's current favorite is an old New Kids on the Block CD and TJ is in love with the Booty song by Bubba Sparks. ("Booty, booty, booty rockin everywhere). So on the way home from the store yesterday, driving through our neighborhood, TJ's song comes on the radio. Our windows were down because it was cooler out. And TJ procedes to scream out the window "booty everywhere!" Matt and Sara were proud.

Help!!

Anybody know how to get crayon out of clothes and out of the dryer? One of the kids left a tiny piece of red crayon in their clothes and now I have spotted laundry.

No real relief in sight

Its still hot. It was only supposed to be 85 however my thermometer read 95. A cold front would be nice.

Kennedy had her recheck for her ears. They said she is fine. Both ears work fine now. Hopefully, we won't have any more problems.

Nothing else really new. We're off to the mall in search of A/C.

Scorchin

We are in the midst of yet another heat wave. Its been anywhere from 93 to 97 all weekend. It is supposed to cool down to 85 or so the rest of the week. Ughhh! Its miserable. Over 90 in the house. We have been sleeping downstairs in the living room with all three portable fans on is. Still too hot for comfort.

This weekend was the Relay for Life in Adrian. Mom wanted to go and be pushed in her wheelchair if necessary for the survivors lap. She missed it by only a little. Two friends of mine did honor her there though: Abby Kurowicki and Tricia Moyer-Fowler. Both bought luminaries and Abby called me as they were reading the names so I got to hear that. That really meant a lot to me. Abby also decorated a chair for the Rare Chair Affair and called hers "Confetti Sue" for mom. Her chair auctioned for $170! definitely one of the higher amounts. Tricia used a picture of mom on her team's shirts. As hard as it would have been to be there, I would have liked to be. Thanks girls!

Friday we had an organizational day for Tim's work. Didn't really want to go because we would prefer to avoid anything to do with his work. However, we dicided to go only because it was at the lake and we thought it might be cooler. It wasn't. There was a small cove though that a few people went in, us being part of them. That was really nice. Tim and I were able to sit in the shallow water and keep an eye on the kids. There were only about a dozen people there so it wasn't crowded and the kids had a blast.

In an effort to recreate that, on Saturday we went to the public beach at the lake. Yea, that wasn't much fun. The roped off part where you could swim was about 50 feet by 12 feet. The kids hated it. It wasn't relaxing at all. We left after being there about 30 minutes.

Today we continue our search for relief from the heat. . .

I miss Mom

We saw Matt tonight. We drove up to his house to take his car back to him and then he took us out to dinner at Jack in the Box. His girlfirend just broke up with him so he isn't doing so hot. Plus I think that its starting to hit him about Mom.

Speaking of. . . God I can't believe how much I miss her. I try not to think about her or to let it show because I don't want the kids to see me upset, but I am so depressed I don't know what to do sometimes. Seeing Matt didn't really help. I started crying on the way home. I don't think Tim really understands either. I feel like we/I am on this downward sprial and I don't know hot to come up. I ask for help, but I don't see it. I don't want to interact with either Tim or the kids. Plus with being nauseaus, all I do is lay on the couch all day. Don't feel like doing anything else, not playing, not watching TV, not cooking, not cleaning, half of the time, not talking. I look forward to the nights because I know that its getting dark and the kids will be going to bed soon. I wish I could go stay with my Aunt Sue for a week or two, just me, no kids or Tim. But I guess that's not really possible.

How do you pick up and go on? When does it not hurt anymore? When will I stop picking up the phone to call Mom's house and ask Nana how Mom's doing today or try to call Mom at work to talk about stuff? What do I do without her? I miss her so much. . .

Back to reality

It has been a horrible week. After we got the news about Mom, I was on a plane within 4 hours. Tim had to go to work so my neighbor took me to the airport and watched the kids for me. Moose picked me up at the airport and I ran sobbing into his arms. Thursday morning Sara and I went to Staples and started working on the memorial folders before Nana picked me up and we (aolng with Matt, Moose, and Aunt Vonne) went to the funeral home so that Aunt Vonne and I could see Mom one last time. That was horrible. It was the hardest thing I have ever done; it was easier to hand TJ to the doctors when he was 17 months old and had his adenoids removed. But I had to do it. I had to have that closure.

I don't really remember much of Friday. A lot of cleaning I think. Sara was ready to go through the house and start tossing things out. I definitely was not ready. I in fact was told to get whatever I wanted and get it out of the house. So my stuff went to Moose's until I am ready for it. Oh and Tim and the kids get there.

Saturday was Mom's memorial service. There was over 215 people there. It was jusst like Mom would have wanted. As funerals go, it was nice. It was hard. After the service a bunch of people came over to Mom's house. Most were drinking, I think. Sara accidently blurted out the fact that I'm pregnant to my dad who didn't know. Then after she realized what she did, she went in the house and told them what she did, not even realizing that they didn't know either. Oh well, less people that I have to tell myself, right?

Sunday was church and more cleaning. Mom's friend Amy came over afer church and helped. She stayed almost all day. It was nice because I really like her. We also went out to Abby's for dinner that night She made us stuffed shells and the kids got to feed the horse. Monday Tim and the kids went home and we did more cleaning. Nana and I went to dinner and then another one of mim's friends came over and we talked and hung out until after midnight. Then on Tuesday I came home. Tim went back to work after he dropped me off at home and he worked until late. He was informed that his first sergaent is trying to kick him out of the army. There has been a lot of problems with him. Yea, something else to deal with. . . We wanteed out of the army this is just a little sooner and a lot harsher than we planned. Don't really know what we'll do. Try to find jobs in Michigan. Maybe the Kalamazoo or Detroit areas. Hopefully it will all work out to our benefit.

So a lot has been going on, but at the same time, nothing really. We're just getting back into the rat race..

Mom passed away just before 10am eastern time this morning. I will be leaving in a couple of hours and will arrive at 10pm tonight. Thank you all for your continued prayers.

The time is near

I was woken to a phone call this morning. Sara. Mom's breathing got really bad overnight. The nurse was there this morning and told Nana to get the kids up and start calling family here. We don't know when, only soon, very soon. I am trying to pack and start making my arrangements now.

Boring

Not much new to report here on the West coast. Its hot again - mid eighties. It is supposed to cool down again by the end of the week. We are supposed to have a perfect 4th of July, one of the best in the nation, according to the weather channel, sunny and 80. Definitely out of character for Seattle.

Mom is still hanging in there. One nurse says anytime, the other says not anytime soon. Only time will tell, I guess. I don't know what to pray for anymore. Obviously I don't want her to die and as long as she's here, I can pretend I still have her. But I know those caring for her at home are having a hard time and just kind of wish she'd get on with it. I am having a hard time praying for my mom to die. Maybe because I'm not there immersed in it constantly. . . I know that whatever happens is God's will and it will be done in His time and in His way, not ours. So I've just been praying that we all can accept that and learn to be okay with His choices. You always understand even if you don't think about it, that you will have to bury your parents, but you never expect to have to do it while you still need them and while they still have life they should be living.

I haven't spoke with Mom in about two weeks. The last time, she had no idea who I was or what teeth were. Since then she's been sleeping so much or unable to talk while she's awake that I haven't gotten I chance to talk to her. I wonder if that conversation will be our last? IF so, I sure wish it had been more meaningful.