Its just one of those days where I just want to crawl back into bed and cry myself to sleep. I went to the doctor today to have my official pregnancy test done and I had to take both kids with me. That was a trial in itself. TJ thought it would be fun to climb all over the chairs and tables and jump off of them. I don't agree. Then they told me that I couldn't take my anxiety pills or my sleeping pills anymore. I know that its standard, I am wondering how I am going to function and deal with mom without those. I won't sleep, that's for sure.

Speaking of mom, she has not been eating for the past two days, or really using the bathroom either. (She told me that she was eating just fine though.) According to the hospice nurses, she's entering the active phases of dying. How do I deal with that? I don't want to lose my mom. God told me that He knows that and He knows that I need her, but that He needs her more than I do. I wish I knew how to believe that and take comfort in it. I believe in God, but I'm not as good a Christian as I would like to be. I wish I knew how to change that. . .

For those who read this, I am sorry that it seems to be a bitch fest.